Moving Beyond Fear…Rediscovering Fire

There’s an acronym we often use in working with people who are in drug treatment programs, in which we identify what’s really going on when we encounter FEAR as “Fuck Everything And Run”.

Fear is a vital response to legitimate physical and emotional danger. Without this important biological response, we couldn’t protect ourselves from legitimate threats to our well-being. However, there are also irrational or delusional fears, which are not responses to legitimate threats, but instead, are triggered by our perceptions, misinformation, past traumas or dualistic notions.

Pema Chödrön observes that fear is also a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth. She writes, in When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times:

“Feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment…and fear,instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.”

And so we teach those in recovery to think of FEAR as something that brings with it the opportunity to “Face EVERYTHING And Respond”. That is, to paraphrase Pema Chödrön, because it is only to the extent that we expose ourselves to annhilation, we discover within us, that which is indestructible.

It’s only during those times when everything seems to be falling apart… when nothing seems certain, and when fear has us by the “short hairs” that we can mindfully recognise that we are on the verge of something powerful and huge. While most of us don’t tend to see these situations as teachers; choosing instead to run from them; it is only when we move toward and THROUGH the experience of fear that we can emerge without suffering, and experience the triumph that comes from dismantling another piece of the dualistic perceptions that cause our problems and create the causes for suffering in the world.

There is a tendency for those of us who have never experienced addiction to become judgmental and to consider those facing addiction as being weak, stupid or less than worthwhile. But the truth of the matter is that every addiction stems from someone finding themselves on the edge of cliff… frightened by their own strength and potential… not weak and unworthy… when they just cannot bear recognising their ultimate potential… and so they “soften” it, blur it, or choose to escape that realisation by using something that they perceive will ease the “pain” of recognising that they are powerful beyond measure.

There is a story that Ani Pema Chödrön tells, which best captures the imagery of learning to face our fears and really begin living:

“Once there was a young warrior. Her teacher told her that she had to do battle with fear. She didn’t want to do that. It seemed too aggressive; it was scary; it seemed unfriendly. But the teacher said she had to do it and gave her the instructions for the battle. The day arrived. The student warrior stood on one side, and fear stood on the other. The warrior was feeling very small, and fear was looking big and wrathful. They both had their weapons. The young warrior roused herself and went toward fear, prostrated three times, and asked, “May I have permission to go into battle with you?” Fear said, “Thank you for showing me so much respect that you ask permission.” Then the young warrior said, “How can I defeat you?” Fear replied, “My weapons are that I talk fast, and I get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don’t do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you don’t do what I say, I have no power.” In that way, the student warrior learned how to defeat fear.”

I recently had the disappointing experience to encounter one of my most beloved students… someone who has literally been part of my family and my life for more than 32 years… who was unwilling to set aside her fears, her embarrassment over past mistakes we’ve all made, and whose unwillingness to face her fears and allow the ego to dissolve into the experience of compassion, love, forgiveness and healing, has so paralysed her that she’s going to allow a precious opportunity for all of us to be together again to slip by. Allowing such opportunities to be wasted, because we’re unwilling to let go and too caught up in pride to just relax into the moment, is tragic. Life’s too short to allow such bullshit to prevent us from truly living. But I cannot learn the lesson for her, and so she’ll end up suffering in the midst of her own self-created drama.

That’s not how I choose to live my life, and I encourage you to not allow it to happen to you either. Rather than allowing our fears and negative perceptions to get the better of us, we can simply relax into the moment, and acknowlege that right now, things feel pretty fucked-up… and then we can reach deep within ourselves and find that courage that is necessary to rise above our squeamishness, and take a good look at the things we fear. We can expose ourselves to the annhilation Ani-la describes, and discover within ourselves that which is and has always been indestructible… Love… the Eternal Principal, and our True Nature.

And so it is that today, I challenge you to consider seeing FEAR as a new acronym… a combination of the two we’ve already discussed… and an opportunity to really allow ourselves the freedom to BE in the present moment, where everything is clearly fine and as it should be… where we look at those things, people, circumstances and our own incredible potentiality, and choose to “Face Everything and RELAX!”

When we do this, we no longer fear the groundlessness of existence. We begin to appreciate and even celebrate every moment, and by so doing… by recognising that this moment is the only one that truly exists… and that it is therefore SACRED and PERFECT… we can no longer find anything to fear.

And only then, do we truly begin to live.

Namasté

khenpo gurudas sunyatananda

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Drawing on the essential teachings of the great spiritual teachers, philosophers and freethinkers throughout time, Khenpo Gurudas Śunyatananda (retired Archbishop Francis-Maria Salvato, O.C.) has been regarded as a provocative, revolutionary “voice of reason” within the field of religion and spirituality, since 1983. Having the distinction of being one of the few openly non-theistic, openly-gay and post-denominational thinkers ever to serve as Bishop-Exarch and spiritual leader of the autocephalic Eastern Catholic Franciscans in North America, Gurudas is the author of more than 600 articles, eight books and currently serves as the spiritual advisor for a non-theistic, intentional spiritual community, The Spiritus Project. He can be reached at: http://dharmadudeunplugged.com

Copyright ©2010, Khenpo Gurudas Sunyatananda (The Most Reverend Dr. F. Francis-Maria G. Salvato, M.Sc., O.C.). All rights reserved. This material may be reproduced, blogged, quoted or distributed, provided the entire copyright including contact information remain intact. It may NOT be altered in any way, without express written permission.”