Forgiveness is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves, and the most compassionate act we can offer those who inflict injury upon us.
When we forgive, we are boldly taking back the control from the ego mind, whose dictum is “Seek and do NOT find.” We recognise that that we have judged in another as being hurtful or wrong is indeed something we have condemned within ourselves. By forgiving those qualities within ourselves, we are compelled to forgive those who similarly suffer from the same afflictions.
When we forgive, we recognise that it is us who needs to change. If another’s behaviour creates an unhealthy relationship, the only responsibility we have is to let them know, and if they continue to betray that bond and trust, to do what we must do to prevent ourselves from being put in that situation again. By maintaining the problem is outside, and thus its solution as well, we are fulfilling the ego’s purpose of keeping the problem from the Creative Intelligence within our minds to correct the mistaken thought of separation.
The Course in Miracles talks about the potential for healing that exists within every seemingly hurtful experience:
“You are not trapped in the world you see, because its cause can be changed. This change requires, first, that the cause be identified and then [second) let go, so that [third] it can be replaced. The first two steps in this process require your cooperation. The final one does not.”
Forgiveness is the mental, emotional and/or spiritual process of ceasing to f…
Namasté
khenpo gurudas sunyatananda
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Drawing on the essential teachings of the great spiritual teachers, philosophers and freethinkers throughout time, Khenpo Gurudas Śunyatananda (retired Archbishop Francis-Maria Salvato, O.C.) has been regarded as a provocative, revolutionary “voice of reason” within the field of religion and spirituality, since 1983. Having the distinction of being one of the few openly non-theistic, openly-gay and post-denominational thinkers ever to serve as Bishop-Exarch and spiritual leader of the autocephalic Eastern Catholic Franciscans in North America, Gurudas is the author of more than 600 articles, eight books and currently serves as the spiritual advisor for a non-theistic, intentional spiritual community, The Spiritus Project. He can be reached at: http://dharmadudeunplugged.com
Copyright ©2010, Khenpo Gurudas Sunyatananda (The Most Reverend Dr. F. Francis-Maria G. Salvato, M.Sc., O.C.). All rights reserved. This material may be reproduced, blogged, quoted or distributed, provided the entire copyright including contact information remain intact. It may NOT be altered in any way, without express written permission.”
Good blog today. I also like the youtube video and the beautiful picture above. But why is it so much easier for me to forgive others than it is to forgive myself? I know that the pain I inflict upon myself is much worse that what (most) others have ever inflicted upon me.. lately I might as well have just taken a anvil and slammed it into my head and heart over & over. It totally sucks and I can’t seem to stop it. I do know it will stop eventually, but at the moment I really wish it was someone else that I need to forgive so that I could get it over and done with.
It’s often useful to ask ourselves what kind of internal dialogue has been going on in our lives. What are we saying in our “self-talk”? Is it affirming, or condemnatory?
We don’t want to say that we cannot seem to stop any destructive behaviour, because in so doing, we create the causes for more failure.
It is during these difficult times (which, coincidentally, often immediately follow one’s taking refuge as something of a manifestation of the ego’s last “rally” against spiritual growth), we can find strength in looking at the example of the Awakened One. We often forget that even Buddha Sakyamuni questioned whether he could do it…
In the Buddhacarita we read:
When we recognise that the Sanskrit word “dharma” means truth, law *and* duty, we can discover why sometimes these ego-centric doubts creep in…and there is but one solution to overcoming them…
Stay in the moment. When you are in the moment, you do not dwell on what you did wrong yesterday or last year, or ten years ago… you do not obsess about what will happen tomorrow… you gently observe that all is right and well, right here, right now.
I like to put a bit of a Buddhist slant on the words of Horatio Stafford’s beautiful hymn, and use it as an affirmation of everything being right in the present moment. Love you, Pema Khandro-la!
I love you, too, my dear teacher. Thank you so much for your wisdom. That’s an interesting possible connection the taking refuge. I would not thought of it. I was able to spend some time with friends today, which got me out of ‘myself’ for awhile and it lifted my spirits some. It’s good to focus on others. I’m going to go work on my art project for my therapy session tomorrow – that will help, too, I think. It’s good to know that Buddha also questioned his competency – if he was worried about it, I guess I shouldn’t keep expecting perfection from myself in this lifetime. Maybe a few more lifetimes down the road
Love you lots, Gurudas-la.
That’s excellent news. I am thrilled to hear it, and grateful for your kind words and actions. Much love!